A Troubled Past
by Thursday-26
Summary: This is a story about the future and looking back, and how the past isn't always how it seems. Rated M to be safe. All warning inside and stated. I don't own these characters. Do NOT read if warnings could offend you!


**AN. This story is based off of a character and characters not owned by me. I read somewhere that fairly oddparents was really about this kid that couldn't cope and Cosmo and Wanda were figments of his imagination. I just wanted to see if I could actually write something with those guidelines. I think this turned out okay. I know it seems a little far-fetched, but that's okay. I hope you enjoy it.**

**WARNING:**** mention of noncon, child pornography, child molestation, pedophiles. **

**THIS STORY IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM SUPPORTING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY AND/OR PEDOPHILIA. IT IS A SHORT STORY THAT MENTIONS IT. I DO NOT SUPPORT IT, BUT IT WAS APART OF MY "PROMPT" YOU COULD SAY.**

**IF YOU DON'T LIKE DO NOT READ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

I watched the producer of the show scamper around the room, checking behind cameras and looking over peoples shoulder, barking out instructions. If I wasn't about to reveal to millions of people my secret past, I might have laughed or chuckled at him. I remember his name is James, and he bent over backwards to get me to agree to this talk show.

As he promised, there was only him, two camera men, one boom man, one guy for the lights, and one IT guy. I don't know why I insisted on such a small audience when my real audience was thousands (or millions) of my fans. My manager, Aj, insisted this would be great for my image, since my past has caused me to act outrageously in public. I have to agree with him, but that doesn't mean I want to. So, for now, I'm hidden in the shadows just outside the small box they set up for this talk. It was set up quickly, just for this. Two blood red chairs sat near each other, with a small, circular end table, with some flowers, sat in between the two and a tv set up on the wall behind the matching chairs.

I felt like backing out, scared of what people would think. But I have told Aj, and my lover, and they both still love and respect me. They promised they would stand beside me no matter what. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door frame, gathering everyone's attention. "Um..." I cleared my throat, "I'm here. Sorry I'm late."

James shook his head full of blonde hair and held out his arms, "It's fine. I'm glad you could make it. Was traffic okay?" He threw his arm around me and directed me out of the small box to another room with a mirror and a small Asian woman. "This is Mimi. She'll do your makeup and that's it. I promise," James explained when he saw my panicked face.

I relaxed a little bit, but still felt very tense as her fingers brushed my neck after stuffing the makeup napkins, as I like to call them, into my collar. "Thank you," I mumbled and closed my eyes to let Mimi do her job. It was too quiet for me. "Do you like your job?" I asked, trying to get some type of conversation started.

"Yes," came a clipped reply, without any sign of any follow-up. She probably didn't like to talk while she worked. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried my best to hold my tongue.

Ten minutes passed when she pulled the napkins out of my shirt, signalling my makeup being done. "Thank you," I smiled and made my way back to the small box they built. She nodded curtly and packed up the makeup systematically.

I stood just outside the doorway, again, trying to push myself through that threshold. A few deep breaths and I was able to step through, my chest tightening at the sight of the small crew again. James was seated in one of the red chairs, smiling in relief. I don't blame him for thinking I would run away. It's still a very plausible outcome. I sat in the other chair, facing him more so than the camera, forcing me to sit awkwardly in the arm chair. "Thank you again for coming," James smirked, grabbing a clipboard with a small stack of papers on it.

"Don't thank me just yet," I laughed, trying my best to sound like I was joking, but it sounded strained.

A twinkle of worry appeared in his green-blue eyes, but his smile shone with confidence, "I am thankful you showed up. Even if you leave halfway through, I'm glad you came." I let that relax me a bit. "You do understand that this is a live broadcast, so could you try and watch for inappropriate language?"

_**Live...**_Honestly, I had forgotten all about that, but I nodded anyways. Aj wouldn't put me through this if he thought it would hurt me. And David just wouldn't let him. He does love me after all. "Sure," I squeaked, sinking into my chair. My chestnut hair was falling into my eyes, helping me hide farther away from this reality.

That thought tore at my heart, my memory returning of the last time I escaped reality. "Alright," Camera Man 1 boomed suddenly, making me jump, "We're going on in five, four, three..." He signalled the last few seconds with a countdown on his fingers and pointed straight at us.

James put on a serious, but friendly, face and looked directly into the camera, "Good evening everyone who has decided to tune into our show. My name is James Ryan, and you're watching Starnews, '_Looking Into a Troubled Past_'. Tonight, my guest is a household name, whether you talk about the lastest blockbuster movie, or song at the top of the charts, Timmy Turner." He extended his arm out to show me and I felt paralysed by that camera eye staring straight at me. I gave a small wave of my hand, but was incapable of anything else.

The eye seemed to blink and focus back on James when I didn't say anything. "Well, tonight is a tell-all story about the past that hides in this celebrity's closet. Isn't that right Timmy?"

I cleared my throat and tore my stare away from that lifeless eye, "Yes, um, James. I am telling this story to explain my behavior for the past few weeks. But before I start, I wish to apologize to all my fans and my sponsors. It was unprofessional to act in such a way and I wish it had never happened, but I can only offer apologies and pray for forgiveness."

James looked relieved again and glanced down at his clipboard, "You don't mind if I ask you some predetermined questions? Some sent in by your fans?"

I shook my head and leaned back, "No problem. By all means please do, but I won't answer the ones that can be answered with my story because it needs to be told in order."

"Okay then," James looked wary, but I wasn't about to go anywhere now. I'm in here for the long haul now. "There has been many rumors that you have been unfaithful to your current partner, David, not only with random strangers but with your own manager and childhood friend, Aj. What do you say to these rumors?"

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, "I'll just say that I don't really care what people say about me, but when they end up hurting those I love, I have a serious problem. I normally don't adress rumors. I don't think they're worth my time, but I love David. I've been with him for five years and he has helped me through these past few weeks without complaint. I would never do anything stupid to mess that up. And Aj. Poor Aj. His wife never heard of these rumors and paparazzi ambushed her on her way to the grocery store. Aj loves Tooty with all of his heart and has never once been unfaithful and he would be incapable cheating on her. His son had to hear these too. It took some time, but I was able to help explain the situation. I wonder how some of these rumors start. But, to be clear, the rumor that I am sleeping with multiple people, including my manager, is only that. A rumor. I would appreciate if this would end that rumor permanently."

"Okay," James sighed, flipping through some pages, then stopped and leaned back, "Your ex-girlfriend, Trixie Tang is claiming that her child belongs to you, when that child is only six months old. I know you said that you have never been unfaithful, so I think this rumor should also be addressed."

I nodded. "I haven't seen Trixie for six years. I do not understand how that child could be mine when I haven't even mentioned her for five years." I looked into the camera. "Trixie, if you're watching, please stop this. I know you know that baby's real dad. Find him, and give that kid a home. It's really important..." that last thought trailed off, reminding me, yet again, of my childhood.

"Excellent, well-"

"If you don't mind James," I cut in, getting him to look into my eyes, "I would like to tell you about my troubled past, then you can ask some questions."

He looked surprised, but nodded his head and put the clipboard onto the ground, "Sure. Go right ahead. This is about you."

"Please don't say that. I don't enjoy the spotlight, but since I have it, I owe some explanations to some loyal fans. Some of the things I say might sound weird, and might be difficult for you to comprehend, but please just listen all the way through. All of my meltdowns will make sense once you listen to my side of the story. And, James, I must ask that you and your crew do not laugh at what I say. This is very personal and very difficult story to tell, and I might be deterred by the smallest snarky remark."

James looked to everyone with a warning eye, then turned to look me in the eye, "I promise. Everyone will stay on their best behavior."

I smiled genuinely, happy for so much support, even if they were paid to hear this crap. "I always thought I grew up in a loving home. A mum that loved me and a father that was proud of me, but that wasn't exactly the case. You see, I never actually could recall a portion of my childhood. From about fifth grade to the start of freshman year in high school. It was all a black smudge on the looking glass of my past. Nothing, not a damn thing, I could remember. The only thing I knew was what people told me. I remember starting high school, not knowing who any of my friends were. Which was very odd since it's a small town and everyone knows everyone. There is the odd exception. Like Chester and Aj. I knew those kids since we were in diapers, but they were angry at me at the start of high school.

"They told me I should know why I was being treated in such a way. Then Trixie came up and started talking to me. I remember thinking she was so incredibly beautiful, but I couldn't remember her name. I can remember she smelled like wildflowers that day, and looked like an angel. Chester and Aj realized something was wrong with me when I asked Trixie her name, since I had followed her like a puppy all throughout middle school, apperantly. She was furious and slapped me, hard. My friends took me back that day, and I am forever grateful towards those two. They went through my middle school career with me, but I still couldn't remember.

"Me and Aj stayed close all throughout high school, but Chester got into a certain crowd. One day, in junior year, he didn't show up for school and no one ever saw him again. I hope he's okay. Happy, healthy and with someone special. I bet Aj misses him too. After all, they protected each other through middle school.

"My life was normal, I thought. My mum and dad told me to look both ways before crossing the street and to stay away from drugs, but they gave me a lot of freedom. Its almost like they didn't really care about me if I didn't get into trouble. I moved in with Aj and his family for half of the second semester of junior year and the summer vacation before senior year. My parents didn't even call to check up on me once. When I went back, they didn't know I had left. It turns out, the day after I moved out, they had left for a three month cruise, that ended in Spain, where they toured all of Europe in about a month. They left a note in my bedroom with fifty bucks for food. I pocketed the money once I found it.

"Secretly, I've always resented my parents, but I didn't even know that myself for the longest time. When I finally went away to college, I realized how much they didn't care. I came back home for a visit and, well, they had moved. They've contacted me since I've become famous, but I had never known where they had moved to. Aj's family practically adopted me and I love them like they were my own family. I still keep in touch with Aj's family and sometimes go and visit his mother-"

"I'm sorry," James cut in, "But how is this relevant to your childhood?"

I smiled, even though I know I should be pissed off at him for interrupting me, "It all loops around. This is a chronicle. Everything happens in order, and, if it makes sense, my childhood comes in at the end."

His eyebrows knitted together, "Okay?"

"You'll get it," I shrugged and tried to remember my place, "So I still go and visit Aj's mother. Then I got my breakout role. Everything happened from there. So quickly too. Suddenly, I'm in ten movies and I'm singing songs about life. If I would have told myself when I was 10 that I would turn out like this, I would have called myself a dirty, rotten liar. People chase me down the street because I'm me! But I knew I couldn't forget where I had come from. I kept Aj as a manager because he is a genius and isn't afraid to tell me the truth. And I know he's always looking out for me. So I still go and visit Aj's mother on a regular basis. I have to sneak in, so no one starts badgering her about me. That's no way to treat my mother. All we do is draw the curtains, and watch the news with one lone light on. It's become tradition.

"She knows me well enough to know what's going on in my life without the commentary, but she only knows what I know. For a while now, I've been thinking about those four years I cannot remember, and, while watching tv with my mother, an ad came on for a hypnotist. She suggested I try it, since I really have nothing to lose, so I went and got it done.

"At first, nothing happened. The hypnotist promised to keep my visit a secret, with anything that had been said being left between the two of us, so I paid him and left. I went on with my life, content with the fact I may never recall any of those memories. Then, when I was watching the news at Aj's parents' house again, there was a story about where I grew up, Dimmsdale, and about a teacher I had. Apparently, because mother got very upset and called Aj almost immediately. It was about an old teacher I had, Mr. Crocker, and he was being shoved into the back of a patrol vehicle. Parents and other faculty members were screaming and spitting at him. What caught my attention was the caption to the story. '_Serial child molester finally caught after one brave boy speaks out_'. I listened to the whole story. This little boy told his friends what was happening, and it was happening to one of them too.

"They told their parents, then more kids started confessing that Crocker had done the same things to them. He had been doing it for years. Even some kids in high school broke down and said that it happened to them as well. That's when everything clicked for me. It's like a switch went off in my mind. Memories came flooding back to me.

"The first thing I remembered was I thought I had fairy godparents. That's what they called themselves. I don't know if they really existed, but it felt like it. I don't remember their names, it's too foggy, but I know they loved me and cared for me like real parents should. The more I tried to remember them, I couldn't.

"I know they existed in my mind for them to be the first thing that popped into my head. Most people would say 'oh, that kid's crazy, lock him up', but I wasn't crazy. I was only 10 years old when bad things started happening to me. It was something happening that I couldn't understand at the time, so I created a way to cope. It honestly sucks having those four years now, because I don't have that childhood imagination, I know every bad thing that happened to me.

"First thing, my real godparents, in real life, died in a car crash. They loved me immensely and spoiled me and listened to me like I was their own. They were what my parents should have been. I created these fairies to represent my godmother and godfather. They granted my wishes and taught me life lessons and gave me a shoulder to cry on. It was hard for me, since one of the main rules was that no one could know that I had these fairies, or they'd be taken away forever and I would have no memory. They turned into the goldfish that were gifts from my godparents days before they died. Other times they transformed into a pen and pencil, or an eraser, or maybe the salt shaker at the dinner table. But they were always there for me, hiding in plain sight from everyone else. I remember carrying around a pink and green pen everywhere I went. And I wouldn't let anyone else touch them.

"Second, my parents ignored me and only dealt with me when it affected them. They were all about presentation and reputation. There was no compassion. They forgot my eleventh birthday. I can remember it so clearly now... I told them about it at the end of the day, saying '_it's okay you forgot my birthday, I know you're busy..._' then they went on about how I was being silly and my birthday was the next day. It wasn't. They invited my friends over, threw a couple of cupcakes at us and told us to behave the very next day. After that, I was told I was **too old** for birthday parties. Or even celebrations. Every year following, there was no, '_Happy Birthday Timmy_' coming from my parents' mouths. In high school, my friends took care of those birthdays. My parents only celebrated ten of my birthdays, to my knowledge. I'm twenty-eight now. I've gotten one birthday wish from them every year since I've been in the spotlight, and it's always the wrong date. It's been published in magazines, but they still don't care. It's only to keep face.

"Third, there were two bullies I had to deal with growing up, one at school, then one at home. The one at school was easy to deal with, because I was smarter than him and I could have afternoons away from him, and, if I was lucky, I would only run into him once, or none at all, times in a day. He would beat me, take my money and shove me into lockers. There was one time where he deviated from normal and found a hungry dog, rubbed me down with raw meat, and let that starving beast at me. I was lucky I was able to make it home before the dog. I'm still scared of dogs.

"But it was the hardest to deal with the babysitter that my parents always hired. She was a bully too. All she cared about was money. I remember telling my parents that she beat me up, locked me in the bathroom for hours, and never fed me when she took care of me. Something was wrong with her, looking back on it. But it wasn't too easy to deal with because she was a lot bigger, a lot stronger, and a lot older than me. She was sixteen for crying out loud. And she got some sick pleasure out of beating me senseless. I remember she had a little sister, who I hated because it seemed like she was obsessed with me, but she was only trying to cope with her life, because her sister did the same things, but there wasn't an escape. Her parents were terrified of her, so there was no way she would be stopped. I regret not listening to her little sister, but I was a stupid kid. Girls meant death back then. I've talked with her since then, and all is forgiven, but that doesn't stop the guilt. No matter how many times she tells me I'm forgiven.

"Lastly," I shivered, a cold breeze running up my spine, "was the teacher. Crocker, I had thought, was trying to capture my fairies from me. In my initial memory, I remember elaborate plans, with hilarious outcomes that always shone in my favor, but only with the help of my fairies. Thinking about them more and more has pushed my fairies out of the picture and..." I couldn't finish. It was humiliating and disgusting. I looked around the room and there was no judgement, only curiosity. James was slack-jawed, in awe (or in disbelief), Camera Man 1 and 2 were not behind their cameras, but looking at me from beside them and they were giving me a pity look, boom guy and lighting guy were trying their best to keep up they were doing, looking affected by my words, but otherwise stoic, and the IT guy abandoned the spot behind the computer and rolled his chair in front of the desk. There was no way I could finish. Tears welled up in my eyes. I'm a failure and a coward. I've come all this way, they know about everything, they've already made their own assumptions, and I can't finish.

I buried my faced in my hands, thankfully covered with the sleeves of my shirt to absorb the water falling out of my eyes, and sobbed. "Get some tissues," James whispered harshly to someone, then I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, "It's alright Timmy... we can stop if this is too much."

I shook my head and sat up straight, sniffling and wiping under my eyes, "No. I have to finish. I promised everyone I loved that I would not back down. There's no way I can leave it hanging there either. I need to tell the truth. People need to know." The IT guy shoved a box of tissues into James' hand and ran back off camera, taking his seat out of place again. He extended the box to me and I took one, wiping my nose with it. "It's just hard to revisit these memories, but I know I have to."

James nodded. "I understand."

I took a shaky breath and wracked my brain from where it left off. "Well, when my fairies were pushed out of the picture... I... I... I could remember everything. I had always felt like I had his attention, but it wasn't for attention I craved. I craved for love and care and kindness, but this was not it. My first image of Crocker was a tall, skinny man, with a small grease ball of hair on his oversized head, with his ear on his neck and an untimely hunch in his shoulders. Then it changed without my fairies. He stayed the same height, might even have grown taller, and a thick head of black hair, with his ear in its normal place. Looking back, and I hate to admit it, but he looked very attractive. My parents always mused about how attractive Mr. Crocker was and how they'd invite him over for dinner sometimes. I even think that my mother might have had an affair with him...

"But, he would always keep me after class, fail me on assignments just to have a reason to speak to me, and he would accept those dinner invitations with the most sinister, disgusting, parasitic smile on his face. And he would always make eye contact with me before he gave that smile. With other teachers, or parents, it was a normal, warm, friendly smile, but I saw that monster within him. He invited me to his 'secret lair' many times. I went the first time, not really thinking anything of it. He didn't do much, and it wasn't much of a secret lair. It was a room in the basement of the school, hidden away and locked. Crocker was the only one with the key. There was a single, dirty matress in the middle of it, with a chair sitting beside it and pictures littering the walls. The first time, he only brushed up against me, and touched my back. He talked about putting a computer into the room, right over there," I ended up pointing like in my memory. My face flushed bright red as I retracted my hand, but continued anyways, "Then, for detentions, he would just take me down to his 'secret lair' for a 'talk'. After about five times, he let me look more closely at the pictures on the walls...

"and..." I had to paused. These were not the memories I want to even think about, but then maybe this could help keep Crocker away forever. "and... they were pictures of kids. All of them were little boys. Some were fully clothed and staring into the camera with a slight twinkle in their eye, then the same kid would be in another picture, where his shirt was off and the twinkle was gone. The ones that disturbed me the most were where they were completely naked, touching themselves, or touching themselves and another penis, one that belonged to a full grown man. His face was never in the pictures, but I could tell. I didn't understand then what they meant, but I could feel something was off. He reassured me, telling me that this was normal, that every boy, especially the cool ones, did this. I had to be cool... I had to...

"The next visits to his lair involved a camera. It eventually came to a point where I was spending every day after school with him, and he would drive me home afterwards. It wasn't like my parents cared. I hate to say anything good about him, but he was always gentle and patient. All of the time I spent in his lair, I imagined Crocker, with his neck-ear, and some fabulous plan that crumbled around him. I always won. I never told anyone about my fairies, but I did try to tell my parents about the lair. They didn't care." More tears streamed down my face. It was almost painful. "They never cared... I felt like an idiot for ever confiding in them. Then, some time later, after this went on for about a year, I told my fairies, because it was getting harder to block out. They believed me and promised Crocker would never hurt me again.

"That's when I started cutting detention and abandoning last period every day. I was in grade six and a rebel. Chester and Aj didn't like it, so they stopped talking to me altogether. Eventually, Crocker got the message and gave up on me. From what I can remember, he never actually had 'sex' with me. I just want to make that perfectly clear. It was terrible because he started his advances again in eighth grade and was a lot more forceful this time. I just went with it in order to control what would happen to me. If I listened to him, he wouldn't push his limits. Simple as that. I went back to having detention every night and Crocker driving me home. The worst was when he came over for dinner and he shoved us into a closet quickly.

"I became jumpy after my memories returned. No man. Not David, or Aj, or Aj's dad could touch me. I would flinch away and hide. I became paranoid that everyone knew but me. And everyone was laughing at me. So I panicked and did the only logical thing, freak out in public. I couldn't trust the reality that I was seeing and it scared me. Again, I am so sorry for being short with everyone, but I need to fight through this and I would love everyone's support."

Finally. Done. Everyone looked to be reading to cry or crying. "W-Wow... that's..." James stated, seeming at a loss for words. Everyone else nodded in agreement with him.

"Are there anymore questions?"

James snapped out of it a bit, "What time is it?"

"1015," came a reply from one of the camera men.

We've been here for two hours. And it's been only me talking. "I think we're done Timmy. Thank you so much for sharing that story." James stood up and held out his hand.

I stood up as well and shook his hand, "No, thank you for giving me this opportunity. I hope what I've said today can help aide the police in persecuting Denzel Crocker. He deserves to be locked up for a long time."

Everyone else in the room abandoned their posts and shook my hand as well. The one comment that stuck with me the most was from the IT guy, "It took a lot of courage to do that. Good job."

I said my goodbyes and practically ran out of the studio. Outside was a black limo already waiting for me. Inside was David and Aj. I curled into David's side and started crying uncontrollably, then Aj grabbed my hand and rubbed it reassuringly.

"To the hospital," Aj ordered. The driver nodded in understanding and started driving. This would be a hospital for those sick in the head. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get out.

Fin

**What did you think? Okay? Reviews? Please?**

**Fyi, this'll probably be the only FOP story I'll ever write.**


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